Cezary Salad

This page contains all the columns that I wrote during my 2 years as a columnist for the Daily Pennsylvanian - the independent student newspaper of the University of Pennsylvania - between 2004 and 2006.

I find it amazing that nearly two years after it stopped running, I still get IMs and emails from friends who see one of my pieces hanging on someone’s door or hear someone mention it in conversation over drinks at White Dog.

The success of “The Salad” wasn’t all me; I worked with a group of extraordinarily gifted editors at the DP - Eliot Sherman, Jeff Shafer, and, most unforgettably, Evan Goldin - to whose editorial talent and inspiration I am greatly indebted.

Below are a couple of my best columns from my entire time as a columnist, followed by a list of chronological links to each one. Enjoy!

Skip to: Fall 2004, Spring 2005, Spring 2006, Fall 2006

The Best of the “Salad” - 2004-2006

“He Said, Ze Said” - 2/21/05

This piece was a response to the gender neutral pronoun movement, which seeks to replace gender-specific pronouns such as “he” or “she” with the non-gender-specific “ze” in order to make the English language more gender equitable. I thought this was a bad idea since gender specific pronouns exist not to demean those they refer to, but rather to provide more information about who they are.

After publication, the piece was reprinted in issue 62 of Polare magazine, published by the Gender Centre in Sydney, Australia, and in a special editorial board election issue of Farrago, the University of Melbourne Student Newspaper.

“Landlords ignore tenant concerns” - 3/28/06

One of the perks of being a columnist was being able to point out problems and abuses that might otherwise go unnoticed by the Penn community. In March of 2006, after a handful of students detailed to me problems with one the campus’s biggest landlords, University City Housing (UCH), I did some digging and wrote this column criticizing UCH and giving some advice as to what students can do to stand up for themselves.

“Can money bring voters to the polls?” - 11/7/06

During election season ‘06, a quirky proposition on the state ballot in Arizona caught my attention: Proposition 200 - the Arizona Voter Rewards Act, which would enter voters in the State of Arizona into a lottery for a $1 million dollar prize as a way to increase voter turnout. I spoke with the chairman of the Voter Rewards Initiative, Mark Osterloh, to hear his case for the initiative and ended up giving it a thumbs-up since it seemed like a risk-free way to try a new carrot for getting more voters to the polls. Arizona voters ultimately disagreed, though, and roundly rejected the proposition.

“Rediscovering my soul” - 1/24/05

It is admittedly hard to insert comedy into a column and still make a point, but I managed to pull it off in this piece, so I include it among my favorites. It’s about the classic cultural war of the Penn campus - “soul-less” business students vs. the high-minded liberal arts majors who follow their dreams and actually have souls - and how I learned to make sense of it all after one of my mom’s finches died.

“SEAS needs to shift focus” - 9/19/06

This column touched a raw nerve on campus since it discussed the frustration that many engineering students at Penn feel with the brain-drain of engineers into non-engineering careers, notably finance and consulting. I thought it was a serious problem for a smaller-sized engineering school like Penn, and so I sat down to discuss it with the school’s dean and proposed some possible solutions.

Chronological links to all my Daily Pennsylvanian columns, with select commentary:

Fall 2004 - “Cezary Salad”

OPIM 101 needs a serious makeover - 9/13/04

Responsibility for safety is our own - 9/20/04

Getting serious about ethics reform - 9/27/04

The importance of sex and money - 10/4/04

Finding solace without financial reparations - 10/11/04

A response to the Polish government’s ill-suited, ill-timed, populist appeal for war reparations from Germany.

Shedding light on gender relations - 10/18/04

No Child Left Behind act very flawed - 11/1/04

The NCLB column has a bit of sentimental value to me since it is the first time that the it occurred to me to do some reporting for a column instead of just telling people what I thought about an issue or event. By my final semester as a columnist, I didn’t write a single column without reporting.

What we should learn from Chicago - 11/8/04

Candidates who ignore the red in their states won’t win - 11/15/04

Internet dating scary and ineffective - 11/22/04

Poles, Jews must learn to just be friends - 12/6/04

Some of the reader responses to this - such as “the Poles were far worse than the Germans” - show that we still have a long way to go on this issue.

Spring 2005 - “Cezary Salad”

Time to get real about final exams - 1/10/05

Rediscovering my soul - 1/24/05

One of my favorites, this column debunked the myth that just because business school students think and speak in monetary terms they are somehow less ethical than students who study other disciplines and speak in non-money terms. Distrust of this kind is a big problem at Penn, and this was my humble attempt at diffusing it with a touch of humorous anecdote.

Spring’s useless ritual - 1/31/05

A fitting memorial - 2/7/05

Argues that a hospice center would make an appropriate tribute for Auschwitz victims and survivors

It’s all in the name - 2/14/05

Boring names are the only thing keeping Penn’s schools from prominence

He said, ze said - 2/21/05

Is there any place in the English language for gender-neutral pronouns?

Feeling inflated - 2/28/05

There should be more to academic evaluation than just a letter grade

Speaking the language - 3/21/05

To win friends in Paris, one ought learn a little Polish

Survey says: it’s a date - 3/28/05

It’s all about the message - 4/4/05

Why gay-marriage advocates are failing in their mission

Insurance sharks - 4/11/05

Penn is blatantly overcharging students for basic coverage

Building walls around ourselves - 4/18/05

Look before you leap - 4/27/05

Follow the heart, not the pocketbook - 5/19/05

Studying abroad down under - 5/26/05

Redder is not better - 6/9/05

TAs could learn a lot from professors when it comes to grading papers

Spring 2006 - “The Salad Returns”

After a semester abroad in Australia at the University of Melbourne (ironically referred to as “my best semester at Penn”), I was selected again for a column in the Daily Pennsylvanian; appropriately, the name changed to “The Salad Returns.”

Grades from abroad lack fairness - 1/10/06

Bringing parties back to campus - 1/17/06

Selfish alcohol policy drives parties underground — and students are the losers

Partying like it should be - 1/24/06

Haverford College uses students to monitor parties, keep students safe

Wharton’s new focus: theatre - 1/31/06

Wharton undergraduate degree is becoming a minor in acting

Dense readings far too common - 2/7/06

Class assignments don’t have to be incomprehensible to be informative

A real Valentine makes a real effort - 2/14/06

Cartoons ought to be printed - 2/21/06

Newspapers’ duty to inform the public outweighs offensive nature of drawings

No need to fret over Facebook - 2/28/06

Worries of employers, school officials monitoring profiles is overblown

Philosophy is not bullshit - 3/14/06

This article incorrectly linked in the DP’s archives, so it leads to my review of Jodie Foster’s commencement speech instead. I will re-link this to the PDF version of the piece, but in the meanwhile, enjoy the Jodie Foster piece.

We must correct past injustice - 3/16/06

Landlords ignore tenant concerns - 3/28/06

Students living off campus aren’t just cool - they’re often freezing, because some landlords pay them little attention

Mastering the art of ‘garying’ - 4/11/06

A well-reported piece on a lighter topic - how Australian guys get girls, and why, contrary to popular belief, it has nothing to do with the accent

Class participation is counter-intuitive - 4/18/06

Grading students by the number of comments made in large classes only encourages worthless remarks

The real world has already begun - 5/12/06

Despite not paying your own bills, there is no hard divide between Penn and life after graduation

Commencement speeches vary in degrees of inspiration - 5/18/06

Bringing the fun to a summer at Penn - 6/1/06

Defining the look for the new part of campus Body - 7/6/06

Support should not equal blind faith - 7/27/06

Fall 2006 - “The Salad Strikes Back”

Secrets that take four years to learn - 8/31/06

You don’t have to pay $20 for a haircut or $4 for hummus - here are some secrets from a pro

SEAS needs to shift focus - 9/19/06

The lack of Engineering graduates who actually go on to be engineers is having a dentrimental effect on the quality of Penn’s School of Engineering and Applied Science

Liberal arts? OCR has you covered - 9/26/06

Unlike in decades past, people outside of Engineering and Wharton can find jobs through on-campus recruiting

Rivalry - what rivalry? - 10/3/06

The Penn-Princeton rivalry is just a sham, because a real rivalry has to extend beyond just the basketball court

Voters won’t forget about Foley - 10/10/06

When the fall elections roll around next month, citizens will hold Republicans accountable for the page sex scandal

Students deserve grade feedback - 10/31/06

Far too many students don’t find out how their grade was calculated - feedback should be part of the learning process

Can money bring voters to polls? - 11/7/06

In Arizona, voters will decide today on a ballot measure that would reward one lucky voter with lottery funds

Dec. graduation worth consideration - 11/14/06

Whether it means leaving early or staying late, graduating in December comes with many advantages

Dueling Columnists: Don’t complain about success - 11/21/06

This column was part of our “dueling columnists” series, where the DP would have two columnists argue opposite sides of the same issue - in this case, whether Asian applicants to U.S. universities are being held to a higher standard. The topic was inspired by Daniel Golden’s book on this subject, The Price of Admission, which exposes how America’s wealthiest families gain access to elite colleges and who pays the price - notably, Asian-American applicants. I argued that this wasn’t as big of a problem for Asian applicants as it was made out to be by the media, whereas my counterpart, Elizabeth Song, argued the opposite.

Business school is still valuable - 11/28/06

This piece was written in response to Dame Anita Roddick’s (founder, the Body Shop) 14 Nov. 2006 editorial in the FT arguing that business schools cannot teach entrepreneurship and are therefore a waste of time for entrepreneurs. My time in a venture initiation class at Wharton taught me otherwise, so I wrote a piece explaining why I thought Dame Roddick was wrong: it may not teach you how to be an entrepreneur, but business school trains those already entrepreneurial.

Making it the right time anytime - 12/5/06

New Wharton Dean will have to build on Harker’s innovative ideas, global focus and fundraising prowess

A fond farewell - 12/12/06

My final column was a farewell to Daily Pennsylvanian readers, in which I detailed how I came to be a columnist, and what I got out of it: ‘It’s been more than two years since I picked up the DP and saw a poorly-worded piece about the classic ‘nice guys’ vs. ‘jerks’ debate. ‘Geez, even I could do better,’ I thought.”